She Makes Me Wanna Say That L-Word
by IzzaZebraSpot
Summary: After his parents terrible end when he was 12, Edward Cullen has promised himself to never fall in love. At least, until dorky-but-cute Isabella Swan comes in and turns his world upside down. What will he do when she gets him wanting to say that forbidden L-Word? AU, AH, Rated M for a reason. Lemons&Language.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hello! I am here with a completely new story. Hopefully you'll like it! I really want this story to go well. Most chapter will be MUCH longer than this, this is simply the introduction. Tell me what you think in a review? Leave the name of your fanfiction ( if you've written one ) and I will check it out! **

She Makes Me Wanna Say That L-Word

Prologue

Lust at First Sight

_I'm fumbling back to my feet  
It's been a long two weeks  
And I can't let go  
Come now, you're better off letting it all fall out  
You stutter up and can't even breathe  
And when you're red hot, and red in the face  
Hands shake, and you both go weak at the knees_

_-Lust at First Sight by October Nites_

EdPOV

I had never noticed much about Isabella Swan was before. Not that we ever talked much. She was a really quiet, geek of a girl, not the usual type of person I hang out with. In fact, the only reason I had even known her name all these years was because of my brother's girlfriend, who just happened to be her best friend.

But now that I'm her biology partner...I'm noticing all sorts of things.

Like how her hair is the color of a dark chocolate Hershey's bar, and how she wears crazy graphic tees everyday.

Something about her though, is just so intriguing.


	2. Chapter 1

**AN: Hello twilight fanfictioners! Hope you're all having a spectacular day :) Here's the first chapter. I can't promise you when the next one will be up since my life is CRAZY right now, but it shouldn't be crazy long. THIS STORY IS NOT BETA'd. I repeat, NOT BETA'd. Enjoy:) Review please! **

_Ooh, I got a crush on you  
I hope, you feel the way that I do  
I get a rush when I'm with you  
Ooh, I've got a crush on you  
A crush on you_

_Mandy Moore;Crush_

**How To React When A Girl Has A Breathtaking Smile**

EdPov

"Fuck!" I growled, taking Jasper's schedule in my hand. "I have barely anybody in any of my classes other than gym."

Jasper rolled his eyes, chomping the gum he's been chewing all morning. His incessant chewing made me wanna smack his chin up.

"Dude, maybe that's a blessing in disguise. Your mom made it pretty clear this morning she's not paying for summer school again. You should probably focus on your work." He said the words but his eyes drifted past my head, to where my sister, Alice was standing with Rosalie, my brother's girlfriend and her best friend. Rosalie was a pain in the ass if you asked me, but Emmett loved her, so I put up with it. Alice & Rose looked deep in conversation about something, Alice nodding her head up and down like a light switch, and smiling brightly. I turned back to Jasper to see his eyes were sort of glazed over as he watched my sister, and almost puked.

"Just ask her out already," I told him, "Its pretty obvious you have your head shoved halfway up my sister's ass, so if you're waiting for my brotherly blessing, there it is." Jasper grinned at my outburst, rolling his eyes at me.

"It's gotta be the right time," He assured me. "I don't wanna seem too pushy about it." _Too pushy? _Please. Alice is like the queen of pushy. I was about to tell him that when James Hunter, ladies man and ultimate douche bag walked up to talk to us.

"Hey Cullen, Hale." he said, doing that awkward chin point thing douche bags did.

James had money. My family had money too, but his money made him think he was better than everyone else, including the entire female population. His hair was dirty blonde and gelled back. He wore khaki's and a polo to school everyday, with a northface over top of it. He always had on this smirk like he knew what you were thinking about, and for some god only knows reason, he thought we were friends.

"Hunter," I mumbled out, looking around the school hallway for anybody else we knew. I really wasn't in the mood to deal with James' shit.

"Has anybody heard about Isabella Swan?" He asked, his smirk turning up a notch.

I didn't know much about her, but I did _know _her. She was Rosalie's best friend and the Chief of Police's daughter. Her mom had left when she was really young to marry man twice her age that was rich. They were still in contact, from what I understood, but everybody tried to keep quiet about it. She was quiet and a little geeky, with glasses always on her face and a book usually in her hands. I could probably be friends with her if I really wanted to, but the opportunity had never come up.

"What about her?" Jasper asked, getting tense. Rosalie was Jasper's twin, so he knew Bella pretty well, and was pretty protective of her from what I could tell.

"She walked into school this morning and believe me, do some things change. She looks _hot_." James moaned in appreciation, making thrusting motions. I had to hold back the disgust I felt looking at him. I'm not one for _love _or _romance _or any of that bullshit, but the way he acts is just plain disrespectful.

"Don't even fucking _think _about it, Hunter." Jasper growled, his blue eyes getting a shade darker than normal, "She's not that kind of girl." Jasper's foot took a small step towards James and I could feel the breath I held in not want to be released.

James stepped back, his hands up in surrender, but the smirk never leaving his face. "Relax man, she's all yours." He laughed, walking away.

"Don't let him get to you, bro." I said as the bell rang for first period. He ignored me and stalked off to his first class.

The first half of the day went by pretty fast since it was the first day of school, and I found myself at lunch quicker than expected.

This year was the first year me, Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jasper, and the rest of our friends had lunch together.

"I was half a second away from busting those four thousand dollar teeth out of his mouth." Jasper was saying to Alice as I sat down at the lunch table. Not many people were here yet.

"Well don't tell Bella until he tries to make a move. I don't want her changing her mind, she seemed so happy with the way she looked for once."

Thats the second time I had heard someone talk about Bella in one day, and again it was about her looks. From what I remember she wasn't ugly, maybe a little pretty. I didn't know her well but I knew what she looked like well enough to know she probably got hit on by guys every now and then.

What had changed so much?

"Shh here she comes!" Tanya Denali said from her spot beside Alice. She was a good friend of Alice and had asked me out every month since freshman year, but I didn't mind all that much because she seemed nice despite how forward she was. The problem was- and I'm going to sound like a douche here-she was just not at all my type. She was blonde and tall and tan and wore a lot of makeup. She was pretty, yes, but she wasn't for me.

I turned my attention to where Tanya, Alice, and Jasper were now looking, my breath hitching. Walking over was Rosalie, Emmett, and a girl with long, sephia colored locks, and dark brown eyes. She had long legs the color of ivory and her delicate lips were curved up into a raspberry smile. She was wearing a superman graphic tanktop with some high waisted shorts and tights, and a beige cardigan over top.

I think I'm in heaven.

Bella Swan? Geeky, smart, shy but pretty Bella Swan that I had barely talked to had turned into this goddess before me?

"Damn Bella," Mike Newton, _prick_ said as he sat down at the table, "You really grew into those big girl panties, didn't you?" He winked at her as he began to eat his pizza. Bella blushed, setting her diet coke on the table and taking a seat.

"You just want to get into them, Mike." Rosalie teased, throwing a fry at him. He huffed before picking it up off his lap and eating it.

"So Belly-Bean, how's your first day been so far?" Jasper asked, putting his arm over her shoulder. She looked around the table shyly, her gaze meeting mine. Our eyes locked for a second until she seemed to realize what was going on.

Apparently Bella didn't like attention.

"Well," She breathed out, leaning forward in her chair, "So far, I've been hit on by Tyler Crowley after being placed as his Algebra partner, Eric Benson after he figured out who I was, because apparently he never heard of me before. I've gotten a douche bag in every single one of my classes so far, and I'm just growing curious as to who will be the douche bag in Biology with me next period." She growled, cracking open her Diet Coke.

I smirked before speaking up, recalling my schedule in my head.

"That would be me," I said, smirking again as her head snapped up to me. "Edward Cullen, douche bag of the year at your service." I winked, smiling as she laughed.

"I think I can handle you, Mr. Cullen." She claimed jokingly, winking back. _My-my, was Bella flirting __with me? _

"I sure hope so." I winked, watching the blush reappear on her cheeks and down her pale neck. I licked my lips.

_God she's hot. _

"So, Bella!" Alice chimed in, pushing our flirting to the side. "Are you excited for homecoming? I was thinking we should go looking for dresses early so we don't miss out on the good ones!" Rosalie quit nuzzling noses with Emmett to turn towards Alice.

"I agree," She nodded, "Last year Bells and I went too late and we both had dresses that other girls were wearing. It was mortifying." I almost rolled my eyes. Who cares about having the same dress?

"That sounds okay," Bella agreed quietly, stealing one of Rose's fries. Rose gave her a playful glare, which she turned on Emmett when he tried to sneak a couple off her tray. He had already finished not only his burger and fries, but also Jasper's fries and now he was eating Rose's. The man was a machine, I swear.

We all talked and laughed for the rest of lunch, and then the bell rang and I found myself walking down the hallway with Bella to Biology.

"I think I've gotten glares from every boy we've walked passed in this hallway." I claimed as I got another one from Laurent Blackmon. "You're causing quite a stir Ms. Swan." She laughed and it sounded like windchimes.

"I've been here since I was born and they're just now noticing me. Figures." She snorted, looking curiously to the side of the hallway, where a very edgy Lauren Mallory was standing with her sidekicks, Jessica and Kate, giving Bella a scoff. " And apparently I'm getting glared at by the Whores of Forks. You're causing me to have enemies Cullen." She told me, not really looking at me. I gave her a look of shock, not a clue what she was getting at.

"Me?" I asked, "What am I doing?!" She gave me a smirk and rolled her eyes.

"Oh please. You're _Edward Cullen _and I'm walking down the hallway with you. They're probably jealous." I rolled my eyes at her use of my name, like I was some legend or something.

"Or they could just be jealous because you're hot and all of the boys and even some of the girls are paying more attention to you then the rest of them." I knew I was only half right, but I hated her thinking of me as someone put on a pedastil.

We arrived at the Biology room, last ones in and there was only one table left with two seats open.

"Looks like we're partners," I winked, enjoying the nervous smile she gave me.

Mr. Banner walked in and told us that since it was the first day he had a lot to get sorted so we had a free period to talk and such. I was happy to start getting to know Bella, because despite her new looks she really did seem like a really cool person to know. But as I turned to talk to her, none other than Jacob Black, nasty mongrel and best friends with James, came to talk to her.

"Hey Bells," He said so casually, like he's known her forever.

"Hey Jake," She said back in that same familiar tone. They must know each other. "You comin' over tonight with Billy? Charlie wants you guys to meet Phil." Jakes smile brightened at her words, and he nodded his head up and down.

"Sure thing. I had plans with James, but I can cancel them. He probably has some girl he wants to 'keep company' with anyways." She laughed at that, waving him off as he walked back to his seat.

"You two know eachother?" I asked the obvious question. She looked over to me, her brown-almost caramel- eyes boring into mine, and grinned.

"Yeah, we've been friends since we were little. I taught him how to ride a bike; he taught me how to drive a car." I nodded but felt a small pang of jealousy. I wish I had someone like that, someone I had known forever and experienced things with that no one else had.

"So, have you ever read the comics?" I asked, effectively changing the subject as I looked down at her shirt. I was actually staring at her boobs, her cleavage sticking out just the right amount. Her breasts looked like the perfect size to simply hold in my hands, not that I would ever try.

See I had a sense of respect for women. I don't like "love"- my mother, Esme and my father, Edward Sr. had gotten divorced when I was 12, ending not only their relationship, but my relationship with my father, not that it was ever a good one. - Its not that I don't believe in love, I just don't want to feel it. It only ends badly and then what? You end up with three children with a father who wont speak to them, and a broken heart.

"Of course I did," She tells me, bringing me out of my thoughts, and looking shocked and a bit hurt that I would even ask. "They were my life before I was cool. And I've only been cool for about a day so..." She says with a small smile and a shrug, and I'm not sure if she's kidding. Then I realize I don't care if she's kidding, because she's funny and I like how cute she is when she blushes.

"You and I are going to get along well, I think, Bella." I tell her as the bell rings.

LWordLWordLWord

BPov

I'm sitting at my kitchen table, waiting for Charlie to come home. I lazily look through a magazine my mom sent me. Living in Phoenix, which is who knows how many miles away from Forks, Washington, she doesn't get a lot of time to have girl-talk with me, so she sends me her old magazines after she's read them 8 or 9 times. She's also tried to send me a Porsche, but I refused. I didn't want anything from her husband, my stepfather – _yuck_- the man was absolutely terrifying and not at all attractive. Sometimes I didn't understand my mother.

It had taken awhile for my father to move on from my mother. They had been high school sweethearts that had simply fallen out of love, but he still cared about her, which I'm sure my mother still cared about my father, even in a small way.

But move on he did, with a man named Phil. To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I was a little freaked for about a week, and then I learned to accept the fact that my father had fallen in love with a man. Man, woman, who cares? At least he was happy. Plus, Phil was nice. He was a large man, attractive you could say, with muscles and a strong jaw. He was tan with golden hair and blue eyes, and was around 45 years old, a year older than my father. He was a minor league baseball player until he retired ten years ago to be with his family ( his wife had died during her second child's birth, she was 30 years old.) He had two sons, Seth and Paul. They both seemed nice enough, but they lived with their grandma and not Phil. They both wanted to live where they had grown up, and Phil wanted to move out here to Forks, so he compromised with them. They would come live with us during the Summer.

"Bells!" I hear Phil call from upstairs. "Are you home yet?" Why he didn't just come down here and check, I do not know.

"Yeah!" I yell back. I put the magazine down and stand up, stretching out my arms and torso.

"Has your father called you?" Phil asks on his way down the stairs. He's barefoot, wearing one of Charlie's shirts and his boxers. His hair is a bit of a mess and he looks like he's been sleeping.

"No not yet. I thought he was coming home early today?" I ask, picking an apple out of the bowl on the table and sinking my teeth into it.

"He should be." he replies. "You look nice today," he comments, walking all the way into the kitchen and grabbing a water bottle out of the fridge.

"Thanks. My mom sent me some money so I went clothes shopping with Alice last weekend." I wince at the mention of my mother, but Phil doesnt seem to care. He's been with my father for 6 months now, and he seems to have accepted the fact that Charlie had a living, breathing ex wife, and non so charming one at that.

"I like your hair too. Listen kiddo I'm gonna go lay back down, I'm not feeling so well. If your dad comes home tell him I'm asleep upstairs will you?" He grins sleepily at me as I nod. "Thanks."

LwordLWordLwordLword

Epov

Becoming friends with Bella was easier than I ever thought it would be. She was super funny. She understood me in a way that my sister never did. Its safe to say I considered her one of my best friends only a month after we officially met each other.

She was gorgeous which I found to be both a positive and a negative part of our friendship. A positive, because I got to stare at her as much as I wanted and she wouldn't care, and a negative because it seemed like some guy was _always hitting on her._ Now I knew why Jasper and Emmett didn't like to hang out with me.

It was October now, which meant that Homecoming was just around the corner, and I was seriously thinking of asking Bella just to go as friends. Until those hopes were crushed one day at the lunch table.

"Bella!" Rosalie had run up squealing, a tired-looking Emmett attatched to her arm. Bella and I were talking about Captain America vs. Black Widow. She claimed that even though she was straight, she knows when a woman's attractive, and Chris Evans was definitely more attractive than Scarlett Johanson. I begged to differ.

"Is it true?!" Rosalie gasped, sitting down. "About homecoming?!" If I hadn't been listening before I definitely was now.

Bella sighed, rolling her eyes and pushing her potatoes around on her plate. "Yes, its true." she mumbled.

"Ew." Emmett commented, obviously knowing what they were talking about. I raised my eyebrow in question. "She's going to the dance with Jacob DoucheBlack." Was his explanation. Bella rolled her eyes at him threw her fork down.

"He's really not that bad." she claimed. Then she turned to me, her eyes questioning. "Who are you gonna go with?" her brown eyes looked hopeful. Maybe she had someone she wanted me to go with.

"I'm not sure." I replied honestly. "I had someone in mind but I think I change my mind." That was mostly true. It wasn't a lie, at least. "You going to the game tonight?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah. I'm riding with you guys 'cause Alice wants me to get ready with her." I nodded, knowing my sister had a knack for giving people makeovers. "I'll probably sleep over afterwards."

"Good. We'll have fun." I winked, getting up to throw my trash away as the bell rang, and Bella and I walked to the Biology room together.


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello Fanfictioners! Here's another chapter that I have taken forever in posting! And I'm incredibly sorry! Reviewing would help me get more motivated to write, though. Just sayin ;) **

**REMINDER-Not BETA'd. **

**Disclaimer: Twilight=Not Mine. **

_I tremble  
They're gonna eat me alive  
If I stumble  
They're gonna eat me alive  
Can you hear my heart  
Beating like a hammer  
Beating like a hammer_

Help I'm alive  
My heart keeps beating like a hammer  
Hard to be soft  
Tough to be tender  
Come take my pulse the pace is on a runaway train  
Help I'm alive  
My heart keeps beating like a hammer  
Beating like a hammer

Help, I'm Alive; Metric

**When Your Best Friend Catches You With Your "Boyfriend"**

BPOV

In all honesty... I didn't really want to go to homecoming with Jake. Sure, he was hot as hell, and a great guy. But I had known him forever and I had never gotten that... _spark_ with him, you know?

But I said yes because for one, he was probably my safest bet date-wise, and two the only other person I would want to go with probably wouldn't want to go with me.

…

_Edward. _

He was so funny. I'd never met anyone like him. I'd had guy friends my entire life, but Edward was somehow different. When he thought I looked pretty, he told me so. When I was reading a book he liked, he could talk to me about it for hours. He didn't care about the girls staring at him or the tons of guys who seemed to be talking to me this year.

To say he was surprised I was going with Jacob was putting it mildly. He didn't say anything at first, but when we reached Biology he just let it all out.

"Jacob?" He asked, his voice low so Jake couldn't hear from his spot across the room.

"Yeah." I shrugged, pulling a pencil out of my bag.

"You're too good for him." He told me, giving Jacob a glare from the corner of his eyes.

"Edward, its a date. Its not like I'm getting married to him." I laughed. He gave me a small smile but looked down to the blank first page of his notebook.

"Is he the only one who asked you?" He asked. I was wondering if his questioning was out of curiousity or protectiveness, but I decided not to ask.

"No." My smile dimmed a little. "Tyler Crowley and Mike Newton asked also. But I felt the most comfortable with Jake, so he's who I said yes to." I took in a breath before adding on "Honestly, I wasn't even sure I wanted to go to homecoming, but I already have the dress so I guess I'm going."

Edward's eyes shot up to me, shock evident in them. "Why wouldn't you want to go to homecoming? Isn't it every girls 'dream dance'?" I rolled my eyes at his semi-sexist assumption.

"No, its not mine. I've never really cared about it. I went last year and it honestly wasn't all that fun, especially at Mike's afterparty when Lauren projectile vomited all over my dress." I shuddered at the memory. Rosalie attempting to wash my hair and not puke at the same time. I remember having a huge crush on Jared, a guy who lives on the Indian Reservation just outside of town, then, and him laughing at me. I cried for hours that night.

"I remember hearing about that." Edward said thoughtfully, "did she ever apologize?" I snorted, giving him an incredulous look.

"Lauren? Apologize to _me_? Please. She didnt even acknowledge me when it happened, nor did she afterwards. She just groaned 'I think im sick' and fell on the ground." Edward laughed for a moment, and then we fell into a kind-of-but-not-entirely awkward silence. Finally, Edward asked:

"Well if you didn't want to go, why'd you buy a dress?" I sighed, rolling my eyes at the thought of Phil.

"My someday stepdad forced me to. He said 'you only have four homecomings your entire life, and I'm going to make sure you go to every. Single. One.'" Edward nodded slowly.

"So your moms getting remarried again?" He asked, confusing me for the slightest of moments. Then I caught on to what he meant, and realized he didnt know about my father.

"No," I said. I grinned slightly, holding back a giggle. "My dad is." Edward's eyebrown crinkled in obvious confusion.

Then slight realization.

Then shock.

And finally, understanding.

"Yes, my father is gay." I told him, biting my lip to hold back a laugh. "Not a very common occurrence for Forks. I'm surprised you didn't already know."

Edward looked thoughtful for a moment. He peered at the front of the board and then back at me.

"I am, too."

We didn't say much after that. It wasn't awkward or anything, but class had started and Jacob was turning around and making funny faces at me to make me laugh. Every once in awhile I would have to cover my mouth to stifle a giggle from coming out.

LwordLwordLwordLword

"Alice my hair does not need to be curled-its a damn football game, _not a fashion show_!" I growled as she shoved me down into the seat in front of her vanity. It was pale pink and old fashioned like you always see in those old movies about hollywood stars. She had an array of different sized curler's, straightener's, crimper's and other hot tools, as well as a fucklot of makeup.

"Jacob will be there Bella. Which means you need to look super hot." I rolled my eyes but didn't argue, plopping my butt down on the backless, pink clothed-seat.

An hour later I was getting out of Emmett's car, my arm intertwined with Rosalie and Alice's as we headed our way over to the bleachers. I vaguely heard the boys talking behind us.

"Bella looks nice today," Jasper seemed to notice.

"When doesn't Bella look nice?" Edward muttered which had me blushing bright red.

I didn't look that great, at least I didn't think. Alice had curled my hair so it looked a lot thicker than it was. I was wearing a tanktop my mom sent me that stated 'I only date superheros' and I had on some ripped up black tights and my black Toms. Alice went light and natural on my makeup too.

"I'm starving." Emmett claimed. _When aren't you starving, Emmett?_ "I'm gonna go check out the snack bar. Wanna come with, babe?" Rosalie nodded and departed from my arm, giving me a small smile before turning towards Emmett. She look cute with her messy blonde ponytail. She wore a tank that said 'Are you kitten me right meow?' and some white short-shorts with her skater shoes. No doubt she would be cold later, but then again she had Emmett to keep her warm.

"Where do you think Jake would be?" Alice asked, but her eyes were focused on Jasper who was talking to Jessica. Her fake nails were clawing at his chest jokingly as he laughed at her.

"Alice, why aren't you and Jasper dating yet?" I asked, honestly wanting to know. They both made it so obvious they liked eachother that most people thought they already were. But they weren't. Neither of them had made a move, from what I know.

"Because he's an idiotic-no brains-uncaring guy who doesn't know how to ask a girl on a fucking date!" she sighed, her hand roaming up to her hair. It looked as if she were going to grip her dark locks but then her hand dropped. "Whatever, he's not worth my time right now. We need to find Jake."

We looked around for about twenty minutes, not finding him anywhere.

"Come on Alice, he probably isn't here yet. Lets go find Edward and Jasper." I pleaded, but my pleas were unnecessary because right then a pair of tan arms wrapped around my waist from behind.

"Miss me?" a low, grumbley voice whispered in my ear, sending a chill up my spine then back down to _other parts _of my body. His breath was on my neck and I felt the unmistakeable urge to lean back into him. But I settled for a surprised giggle-and-jump.

"You scared me!" I scolded him, turning around to face him in his arms. I slapped his chest playfully. He gave me a fake pout. I rolled my eyes at his attempts.

"Hey I got to go talk to Jasper, I'll see you later Bella." Jake and I both looked over at Alice as she spoke, but she didn't seem to notice since she was glaring at something behind us.

"I'm really happy you said yes to homecoming, Bella." Jake told me once she was gone. I gave him a small smile and nod, looking at the ground. He gripped my chin a pulled me up, looking into my eyes.

And there it was.

That _spark_. The one I had been so sure would never show up with him.

"I'm glad I said yes too." I told him, lifting my hand to push his hair out of his eyes.

Then I feel him leaning towards me, his lips nearing mine. I close my eyes in anticipation, waiting for his lips on mine-

"Wait." Jacob says and I have to hold in my groan of frustration. "If I kiss you, will you be my girlfriend?"

I hadn't even thought of that. I thought of it, introducing him. As my boyfriend. 'Hey Phil, Charlie, you already know him but this is Jake, my _boyfriend._' It sounded okay I guess. Maybe a little weird.

"Yeah," I smile at him, "Sure."

Then his lips are suddenly on mine, his hands gripping my waist almost painfully.

I want to go farther. Not sex, no, but I dont want to just stand here kissing him. "Lets go under the bleachers." I whisper to him, a little forcefully. His eyes darken a bit and he nods, gripping my hand in his tightly and pulling me along.

We get to our destination and I waste no time shoving him roughly against the brick wall. I'm a little shocked with myself, I've never been so forward in my life and here I was practically mauling my life long friend behind the school bleachers. We make out for a little while, his hands under my ass and my legs wrapped around his waist. I start moaning like a hussy and he returns the favor. I think 'maybe I should slow down,' but I like the feeling too much. Maybe I'm just not used to feeling so wanted, or maybe I just am ready to not be such a virgin anymore.

Either way, its like a bucket of ice water is dumped on my head when I hear a strangled sounding "Bella?!" from behind me. I drop to my feet and look into Jake's eyes, wondering if thats fear mimicked into his eyes from mine or if its just annoyance.

I turn around slowly and the first person I see is Jasper, his mouth wide and a corndog in his hand. He's got a look of pure confusion. Then Rosalie and Emmett, Rosalie with a smirk on her face and Emmett with a grin on his. But Edward is the only person who looks angry.

"I thought you guys were just friends?" Edward asks, his teeth clenched. I bite my bottom lip nervously, playing with the hem of my shirt.

"We were."

"Someone moves fast." Rosalie jokes. I roll my eyes at her and flip her off. I turn and look cautiously at Jake, who looks like hes honestly trying not to laugh.

Thats when I realize how stupid this whole situation is, and I burst out laughing. Then everybody else does too, and by the time Alice walks up with Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley we're all crying from laughing so hard.

"Whats so funny?" Alice asks. It doesnt escape my notice that she's standing closer to Tyler than usual.

It doesnt seem to have escaped Jasper's either because he's suddenly stopped laughing and is almost glaring at Tyler.

"Nothing, I just..." I trail off when I realize she's not actually paying attention. I lean back into Jake, and he wraps his arms around my waist. I make worried eye contact with Edward as we watch the scene playing out before us.

"Tyler!" a nasally voice squeals out and I almost groan. _Lauren. _She runs up, her blonde hair bouncing everywhere. Lauren goes to hug him but is cut off by Alice hugging him instead. I see Jasper tense, and Lauren fall back a step, looking at him shocked.

"T, can we go back and watch the game?" Alice asks in a sweet voice and I'm sure I'm not the only one whose eyes are wide as saucers. Tyler looks uncomfortable with all the stares in his direction.

"Sure, babe." he grips her hand lightly and they walk away.

It takes 3 seconds before there's a reaction, and of course the first reaction is from Lauren. "THAT SLUT STOLE MY BOYFRIEND!" she shrieks, her face turning all sorts of red. I feel anger swell up in my chest,

"Alice is _not _a slut!" I growl. Lauren just ignores me and stomps off after them.

"I'm gonna kill him." I suddenly hear from Jasper, who starts following Lauren. "I'm gonna rip his head off and feed it to-" He's suddenly cut off my Emmett pulling him back.

"You're not gonna do shit, man. You're gonna let it be. She's just trying to hit you where it hurts." The sight is a little funny because Emmett is holding Jasper back with one arm wrapped around him, and in the other hand he's holding a small container of fries.

"Can we leave soon?" I beg, closing my tired eyes and leaning into Jake some more. "I'm really tired."

LwordLwordLword

The ride back home was awkward to say the least. The little situation between Jake and I seemed to be forgotten by most. I sat smushed between Edward, ( halfway on his lap, I should mention. I just prayed Emmett didnt go over any crazy bumps 'cause that could be awkward) and Alice, with Rosalie next to Alice and smushed into the door. Emmett was driving and singing to the radio and Jasper was glaring out the window. Edward kept glancing at me, opening his mouth like he wanted to say something, and then turning away as if he changed his mind.

Esme wasnt home, Alice says she went on a date but refused to tell who with.

But she'll be gone all night so we had the house to ourselves.

Sitting in the Cullen's basement, passing a blunt around silently was a lot more awkward then it sounded. I debated calling Jake, asking him to come get me, but then I thought of the possiblities of that scenario and decided I better not.

Edward's sitting next to me, his eyes cast downward and his knees brought up to his chin. He's playing with the hem of his pants and biting his scarlet lip in thought, and I really take a minute to look at him. Its not a surprise that girls go crazy over him, he really is quite attractive. His messy hair and broad shoulders have a large sex appeal that make most women want to scream in pleasure. Staring at him now, I found myself to be one of those women. He raises his eyes so Ivy meets Chestnut. I smile weakly at him, holding out the blunt in my hands. He takes it without a word, casting his eyes back downward.

Alice gets up with a huff, slamming the door to the bathroom behind her loudly. The sound of sobs comes through the door until the bathroom fan drowns them out. Jasper gets up and bangs on the door until she lets him in. They don't come out for awhile.

"So, Bella-boo." Emmett starts, his eyes bloodshot from the blunt thats been passed to him. He grins wide, looking higher than ever. "Does Black-baby have a big ween?" I roll my eyes, throwing a pillow from the couch behind me at his head.

"I wouldn't know, we didn't get that far." I reminded him with a pointed look, not that I would have found out anyways, I plan on being a virgin for a while.

"Jake's a dick." Edward said suddenly, making everyone look at him. I furrowed my brow at him, showing my irritation. "What?" He calls "Its true. Everyone else is thinking it. Maybe I'm the only one able to admit it to you, but you and him just dont _fit_." I roll my eyes at him. No one 'fits' with me, thats why I was Loser Bella Swan for the 4 years of my life, all through middle school and my freshman year.

"Sorry you disapprove, Edward, but frankly I don't really give a fuck what you think." I let out an angry breath, "Emmett, hand me that bottle." I told him, pointing to some sort of vodka he had over there. He handed it to me cautiously, his other arm wrapping protectively around Rosalie, who was attempting to shoot daggers at Edward. "I've gotta piss." I said after taking a huge gulp. Vodka still in hand I walked over and banged relentlessly on the bathroom door, before I got fed up and just opened it.

Out fell a shirtless Jasper and pantless Alice, arms around eachother and hair in disarray. I shook my head at them as I walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me, and taking another gulp of the vodka bottle.

LwordLwordLword

**Edward POV **

I think what pissed me off the most about Jacob Black was that I knew he was using Bella. Maybe she couldn't see it, but I sure as hell could. The way he looked at her was like how James looked at Lauren or Jessica, with a hunger, a lust. He wanted her, but he didnt _want her_.

Bella could do so much better than some tan dickhole that called himself her bestfriend. _I _was Bella's bestfriend, sorry Doctor DB. Go find somewhere else to get your rocks off.

I looked up from the blunt burning in my hand to my sister, smiling and wrapped in Jasper's arms. I heard Alice tell Esme yesterday that she loved him. What a fucking joke. If she loved him she wouldn't have been playing those games with him earlier today, she would've just told him and had it be over. '

I looked over to the doorway of the bathroom, wondering how long Bella had been in there. The water was running now and my mind was feeling foggy. Was she taking a bath in there? Oh dear jesus. Stop thinking of naked Bella. Oh god. Creamy skin, pink lips, oh dear jesus Edward what the hell is wrong with you?

"Is she taking a bath?" Rosalie asked, finally lifting her head up from her grossly public make out with my brother. "Edward go check." I raised my eyebrows at her disbelievingly.

"Rose, she's probably naked. I'm not gonna just walk up in there." She just rolled her eyes and shrugged, nuzzling into Emmett. I huffed, standing up and walking over to the bathroom door. I debated knocking but then just plopped down right there on the floor, put my head in my hands, and fell asleep quickly.

**A/N: I feel like I should mention that the Homecoming Dance isn't really a huge part of the story so I probably wont write much about it. I know this is going kind of slow and I'll try to pick up the pace but you'll see pretty soon that Edward's 'dislike' towards Jake is a little more on the jealousy side than he realizes. His feelings for Bella will come out soon. **


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: I posted this chapter later than expected, but faster than usual. Hope you all enjoy. P.S; if you review (and I'm hoping for at least ten) you'll get a sneak peek of each POV (Edward and Bella POV) in your fanfiction inbox! Review please! Review review!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and please remember this story is NOT BETA'd. **

_I won't cry myself to sleep, like a sucker.  
I won't cry myself to sleep, if i do, i'll die.  
Now you fall asleep with another, damn you_

Damn You; Lana Del Rey

**Chapter 3:**

**Where You Go When You Make That Ultimate Regret And He's Already Moved On To The Next One **

**BPOV **

October passed and Homecoming went with it. Not much exciting happened other than I gave Jake a blow job (my first time ever giving one, might I brag) and Rosalie had the same dress as Jessica and flipped out. Over all it was a pretty good night.

October went into November without much happening. I visited my mom for Thanksgiving, and while I love my mom, I'm glad I'm not visiting any time soon. Her old husband seriously gives me the creeps.

December came and so did my urge to lose my virginity. I had been talking to Alice, who popped her cherry with Jasper two weeks after they got together, and Rosalie about it, and they both attempted to give me advice. But it was all girly advice and didn't help much because they kept giggling in between.

There was one person I really wanted to ask, but I knew that if I asked Edward, all hell would break loose.

I was becoming very close with Edward, even closer than I was with Rosalie. Sometimes I felt I could tell him anything...

Until the topic of Jake came up.

Edward loathed Jacob, and it seemed no matter what Jake did, Edward seemed to just hate him even more.

One thing I did notice about Jake-our relationship wasn't really progressing much. Sure, we did the whole, PDA and moving on with sexual stuff, but I didnt really even know much about him as a person other than what I already knew from being his friend for so long. It just didnt really feel right anymore.

So, I thought, maybe if we had sex, it would help things. It sounded stupid but Alice and Rose seemed to agree. Well, Alice did and Rose just didnt say anything. So I started making a plan as to when it would happen.

Walking into Forks High the day before Winter Break, this plan floated through my mind. It was all over my brain like gravy on mashed potatoes when James Hunter tapped me on the shoulder.

"Hello Bella, dear girlfriend of my dear friend." His voice dripped sarcasm and his eyes roamed my body shamelessly. I was wearing an outfit Alice said 'fit my new style'. It was a Lana Del Rey graphic Tee tucked into a pair of high waisted jean shorts, I had on my blue hightop Chucks and a white bow holding up the top half of my curled hair. "You look nice today. Where's your bitch?" He asked, referring to Jake. I rolled my eyes at him and shrugged.

"Haven't seen him yet, James, I just got here. And quit eyefucking me you twat." I growled at him, heading towards my locker. He didn't say anything back, just walked away with an eyeroll. I headed to my first period, wondering why Jake hadn't been waiting at my locker, a little worried. I checked my phone and saw a text message saying he was going to be late to school.

"Bella-Bean!" I hear a familiar voice shout just as I'm about to enter my class 15 minutes early. I turn to see those Ivy-colored eyes I'd become so familiar with right behing me.

"Hey Eddie." He glared at the nickname, but didn't say anything. I took a quick look over of him, definitely not minding what I saw. He had on a sea-blue tshirt that was tight enough to define his broad shoulders and muscled arms, but not too tight to look uncomfortable. He wore light wash jeans and a black beanie on his head. But the best part of his outfit was that award-winning smile.

"So my mom wanted to invite you, Charlie, Phil, and if his kids are coming them too, to Christmas dinner with us. My mom loves cooking for the holidays plus she wants a chance to get to know Phil better." He smile, looking down shyly.

"Yeah, Of course. I'll ask Charlie." I told him. I found myself looking at his broad shoulders again, but this time I spotted some lent. "You got something." I said, leaning toward him to brush it off.

Except the world hated me and when I leaned over, Lauren Mallory decided to 'accidently' brush against me and knock me into Edward. He wasn't expecting it so we both began falling, and I ended up straddling him in the middle of the school hallway, with all of my peers pointing and laughing. Edward's face was bright red and he looked a little shocked.

Without moving for some god only knows reason, I exclaimed, "Oh my god, Edward, are you okay?!" but before he got the chance to answer a semi-strangled-cat sounding voice came up beside me.

"Bella?" it asked gruffly. I looked up to see Jake, who looked confused and a little pissed at the whole situation, & he seemed to be looking at me for an explanation.

"Uh, Lauren was a bitch and I tried to get the lent but I fell and now I'm straddling Edward." was my brilliant explantion.

"Bella, you could get off me now." Edward gritted out through his teeth. I felt a slight poking in my thigh and suddenly knew why he looked so uncomfortable.

"Oh shit!" I yelled, jumping up as fast as possible. Only I ended up head-butting Jake, and somehow giving him a bloody nose. "Jesus fucking christ I cannot win today! Jake? Are you okay? Oh god you totally hate me now I'm such a terrible girlfriend."

Jake was too busy holding his nose closed and blinking back tears to answer me.

LwordLwordLword

**EPOV **

After Bella's multiple accidents and last-minute hysterics, her and I went to our classes and Jake went home with a bruised nose, and a promise from Bella too make it up to him.

I never realized how big of a clutz Bella was, but now that I think about it yeah she definitely was clutzy. Today I just happened to get the better end of the accident stick than Jake did.

Unfortunately, that meant I had to think of old Mrs. Weber to get rid of my hard on.

When I went to lunch, I noticed Bella talking to Mike and Tanya at our lunch table, laughing at something Tanya had said. Looking at Bella I realized just how much her name really related to her. She had a beautiful everything. Gorgeous pale skin, gorgeous pink lips, gorgeous sephia hair, goregous chestnut eyes. Everything about her was perfect, and thats why Jacob was so wrong for her. Because he could never understand how perfect she really was when he was so self-absorbed. She needed a guy who would treat her right, who would tell her how beautiful she was every minute of every day and would hold open doors for her and tuck her hair behind her ear. She deserved a guy who would take her to a campout in the woods just so he could protect her from all of the dangerous parts of the world, and who would gaze at her and see her beauty, not _just _her sexiness. She deserved a guy that was _not _Jacob Black, she deserved a guy like me- no!

As my mind grasped that concept I found myself liking it and hating it. I had voiced my opinions on love and relationships and all of that hoo-ha several times. I didn't like love, because it didnt last. Nothing was worth putting yourself or your children through such torture. I didn't like relationships because they rooted from love, and I had always sworn to never fall in love.

Yet as I looked at her, her head thrown back in laughter and her hand on Tanya's shoulder, I found that I didn't really care all that much that I might have feelings for Bella, because she was worth having feelings for.

"Edward Cullen, I don't think I've ever seen you stare at a girl for so long." Rosalie said, walking up beside me. "What happened to, 'love is stupid and doesn't last'?" She smirked, giving me a knowing eye.

I shrugged. "It is stupid, and it doesn't last. Just because I might like her doesn't mean I have to act on it." I told her, leaving out the part that I really, really, _really _wanted to act on it. "She's beautiful. Jacob just doesn't deserve her." I told Rose. To my surprise, she nodded in agreement.

"I hate that mutt. He's nothing but a trailer trash two-timing douche. Bells wants to lose it to him." She told me, pushing her blonde hair out of her face. "She thinks I'm encouraging it for some reason, but I'm really not. I don't think he's going to stay with her if she has sex with him, and whose going to pick up her pieces?" She walked toward the lunch table then, not giving me time to respond.

Bella wouldn't make such a stupid descision, would she? Having sex with Jake? No, she has to see more clearly than that.

I was going to walk over there when suddenly I was ripped out of the lunchroom door and slammed into a nearby locker by none other than Jacob DoucheBlack himself. "Can I help you?" I growled, "I thought you went home." I was extremely uncomfortable with how close he was to me.

"Are you fucking Bella behind my back?" He asked, his voice not coming out nearly as threatening as it meant to. "Because I swear to god, I'll break your spine you little fucker." my eyes widened at the thought.

"For one, dickhole, Bella would _never _cheat on your ass." I yelled shoving him away from me. I grabbed him by the collar and pushed him into the position he had me just seconds ago. "and two, Bella and I are friends. Nothing else. So you can take your accusatory attitude right the fuck out of here. Bella is a great girl and deserves to be treated with respect and trust,which _you _need to give her, or someone else will, you understand me?" He didn't respond, so I did the whole tough-slam-him-against-the-locker-and-walk-away-al l-high-and-mighty thing.

The rest of the day went by smoothly, and with my new understanding of how I felt for Bella, I realized just how much I look at her and think about her everyday, which also made me realize how much I _didnt _want her to have sex with Jacob.

I had to talk to Rose, and then I had to convince Bella not to have sex with Jacob.

**BPOV **

Ever since the incident with me falling on Edward, Jake had been crazy possesive. He didn't like me going around Edward, he didnt like me being alone with my friends for too long, and he sure didnt like me hanging alone with Edward for too long.

Jake was really starting to get on my nerves. How the hell was I supposed to breath when he was down my neck _all the damn time_?

Before he became all possesive with me, I was thinking of having sex with him on New Years. It seemed like the perfect time, after the big kiss at 12. We kiss and I pull him into a another room and we go at it like bunnies. Or something.

"Bella, are you sure Jake is who you wanna lose it to?" Rose asks tentively as she paints her toes a bright Majenta color. We're having a sleepover in the Cullen's basement, and girl talk has been dim other than Alice telling us about Jasper's dick for twenty minutes. I sigh as I look up at Rosalie, gazing at her perfect blonde hair and tan skin. I cock my head to right, looking at her face closely, wondering just what shes thinking.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Why?" I ask calmly, looking back down to continue flipping through an old vogue magazine. Rosalie sighs as she puts the nail polish down, bringing her knees up to her chin and looking at me straight on. I try to look away and back down to my magazine, but she seems set on having this conversation.

"Well..." She breathes. "I think there is someone else you might _actually _want to lose it to but you dont realize it because your heads shoved up Jake's ass." I look at her in confusion, ignoring the part about Jacob's ass. _What a yummy ass it is. _

"Who the hell are you talking about Rose? I would never cheat on Jake." I scowled, a little offended she would even consider something like that. She rolls her eyes and throws a pillow at me from behind her.

"I didn't say that, Bells. What I'm trying to say is I think you're dating Jake to cover up your feelings for Edward." My breath hitches and my eyes widen in shock.

"Edward?" I gasp, part in disbelief and part in humor. Alice's head has snapped up from her ipad, her mouth wide open in shock. "Are you fucking kidding me Rose? He's hot as hell, sure, but he and I are just friends." I grab the ponytail from around my wrist and throw my hair up into a high messy bun on top of my head. "And don't say anything like that around Jake, he already gets possesive enough whenever Edward's name is just mentioned in passing, its starting to get really annoying." I admitted, rubbing circles on my temples, hoping to get rid of the headache that was forming there. I look up to see them both staring at me still with pointed expressions. "What?!" I gasp, exsaperated.

"'Just Friends'" She finger quotes "Bullshit, Bella. He looks at you like your heaven and he's been stuck in hell since the dawn of time. Do you really not see it?" I put my face in my hands, hoping that maybe I can get my thoughts straight. I think back to times when I thought Edward was looking at me funny, and suddenly, I see it. I see what they mean. His eyes, the small sparkle they get, the small smile that lights his face. The little gestures he does, the way he goes out of his way to make me laugh.

But I lie to them. "I don't see it, guys. Sorry." Alice is still quiet during this whole thing, until suddenly, she speaks up.

"James Hunter told me yesterday that Jake barely hangs out with him anymore. Says he's always with you." I'm a little disturbed by the random comment, but I just nod.

"I'll try to get Jake to hang with him more then," I tell her with a small smile. She nods and looks down at her lap, the quietest I've heard her in a long time. I think about asking her whats wrong, but I hold back.

We went to bed earlier than normal that night.

It wasn't long until Christmas came around. My family went over to Edward's house and enjoyed a great dinner. We opened up presents. Edward got me the "Born To Die: Paradise Addition" Lana Del Rey Album, which was awesome. I got him a new guitar, since I knew he had been learning to play recently.

Jake and I decided to not get eachother anything, and that was okay with me. Kind of.

Then New Years Eve came around. I had finally decided that, yes, I would lose it tonight. I woke up New Years Eve morning, more nervous than ever. Mike Newton was throwing a party and Jake and I were going. He was arriving with James and I was coming with the Cullens/Hales.

Shakily, I grab my phone off the nightstand next to my head, and text Jake nervously.

_I got a surprise 4 u tonight. Lets just say ur gonna have a good start to the New Year. ;) -B_

It didn't take long for him to reply.

_Oh god baby I cant wait when r u goin 2nite? We should meet up outside. -J_

_Around ten. See u then? -B_

_See u then babe.-J _

I breathed out a shaky sigh, putting my head in my hands. _Tonight was the night. _Oh god what if I mess up? I internally rolled my eyes at myself. I looked at the clock and it read 12:45pm. _Holy crap did I really sleep in that late? _I jumped out of bed and run downstairs, only to find Rosalie sitting at the kitchen table talking to my dad. I smile at her as I enter the kitchen.

"Hey boo, whatcha doin here?" I ask her, looking down to wear she is showing my dad a picture of her new puppy. She named it Charles in honor of my dad, since it used to be a police dog. We both thought it was funny.

"I was just coming over to ask your dad if it was okay for you to come over tonight." She told me with a pointed look. _Ah, my cover for the party. _"He said it was fine." She smiled.

"Just no drinking!" He added in with a wink. "I'm gonna go find Phil. I need to ask him about when Seth and Paul are flying in. They get out of school almost a month before you do!" I didnt point out the fact that School didnt end for another 6 months, I just nodded to him.

Not long after that I headed over to Rose's house with every thing I needed and she started to make me over. I took a nice relaxing bath, and then Rosalie waxed me everywhere ( and I do mean EVERYWHERE.) She repainted my toenails and fingernails, and by then it was 7:30. She began fixing my hair. Alice came over and went and picked out my outfit, and for once I didn't mind them making me over because I didn't think I had the strength to do it myself with how nervous I was.

Alice picked out a Bebe split strap bandage dress that looked nice on my curves. She also pulled out some- OH MY GOD GIUSEPPE ZANOTTI Black Suede Eva Pumps! Those were $725! I went to protest to her maybe beg her to return them since they could feed about a bizillion children in like Africa, but she just held a hand up at me telling me to not even try. I gave up then and there.

I took a look at myself in the mirror before I put the clothes on. My hair was in soft waves pulled back from my face and Rose had given me bangs. She painted my nails white and I had dark pink lips and smokey eyes. I looked nice.

"Now Bella, I went to the store this morning and bought something for you. I know its a little weird but I figured it was an important gift for you to have." I gave Alice a confused look but nodded in her direction. She pulled out a large black block and handed it to me. I sat down on the large purple comforter of the bes in Rose's room, and opened it slowly. In it sat some dark blue with black lace Stella Mccartney Lingerie. I gasped at the beautiful undergarments, before hugging Alice tightly.

"Thank you, Alice. This means a lot more than you think." Rosalie chose that moment to toss me a box of condoms with a wink. I rolled my eyes at her but pulled her in for a hug too. She reminded me to stay safe, and then I went and put on the fancy lingerie.

By the time I got there, it was actually 11 and not 10. I felt bad for making Jake wait but he assured me he didn't mind. _No baby, its totally fine. Just make sure ur fine ass is here b4 12 so I can kiss those __sweet lips-J_

He was waiting by the front door when I walked up, Edward and Rosalie on either side of me. The rest of the crew was trailing behind them. The sky was dark and stars lit up the early night. Jake was leaning against the front of the house, right next to the mahogany front door. His eyes brightened when he saw me, a smile lighting up his face. I was pretty sure I saw his eyes flick to Edward in distaste, but it was so fast I couldnt be sure.

"Hey there baby, gosh you look gorgeous." he commented, pulling me into his arms. I giggled nervously as I thought of my plan for the night.

"You don't look too shabby yourself," I said, not really looking at him. He never looked bad anyways. I leaned up and whispered into his ears, "I hope you didn't forget our plans for later." In an attempted sexy voice. It must have worked because he looked down at me with lust-filled eyes.

"How could I forget."

The hour until midnight passed by quickly and before I knew it the count down was erupting and I was in Jake's arms, watching the huge T.V screen in Mike's living room as the ball slowly dropped. Jake grabbed me and started kissing me passionately before it even reached twelve, and suddenly I found myself against Mike's bedroom wall instead of in the living room. Jake's mouth left mine and went down to my neck, sucking hard enough to give me several hickeys im sure. His jean-clothed hips thrust into mine and oh god-it felt so good!

"On the bed!" I commanded, jumping down from his hips. He picked me and practically threw me on the bed. It kind of hurt, actually, but I got over it quickly. Jake towered over me, ripping his shirt off. His lips lowered back to my neck and his hands go to the back of my dress, pulling down the zipper.

Thats when the butterflies hit.

_Oh god. _

_What if I mess up? _

_How bad will it hurt? _

_Why did Rose and Alice talk me into this? _

_Oh god. _

_Edward, what if Edward walks in?! _

_Or, oh my god, Charlie?! _

_Wait, why would Charlie be here?_

_Bella, you're stupid. Just go with it. _

_Oh god I'm so not ready for this!_

"Jake, wait!" I yelp when he starts to go for my underwear. My dress is completely off and discarded somewhere.

"What?" He asks, his eyes searching me frantically, "Is something wrong?" I look up at him nervously.

"I don't- I don't think I'm ready for this." I tell him. He looks confused.

"But you're the one who planned this." He tells me, his eyes turning a little bitter. "Are you fucking serious with this right now?" I feel his problem sticking into my thigh and I think I might cry, _this is so embarassing. _

"I just-i don't know. I was all ready and now I just..." He rolls his eyes and starts to get up, but I pull him back down. "Where are you going?"

"I'm _trying _to get away from my tease of a girlfriend. God, Bella. I just don't fucking understand you ever." _Tease? Am I really a tease? _I try to relax my breath.

_You can do this. Bella, you're ready. _

_Nothing bad will happen. _

"Jake, I'm sorry. Lets try again, right now. I'm ready." His eyes lighten up, and he doesn't ask me if I'm sure. It disappoints me a little bit. But I get over it.

He continues where we left off, pulling my bra off and attaching his mouth to my nipples. It feels better than I expected.

He brings his hand into my underwear and enters a finger inside me. It hurts, and is very uncomfortable. I wiggle but it doesn't help, so I fake moan so he thinks it feels good.

Pretty soon we're both naked and he's positioned above me. I look at him nervously and he gives me an awkward stare. Pretty soon he's pushing in and- _ow, it hurts, ow, ow! _I whisper for him to slow down but he doesnt seem to hear me or maybe he just doesn't care, but now I'm crying and he doesn't notice because his eyes are closed in what appears to be pleasure. I clutch the sheet in pain as he moves faster, and I yell louder for him to slow down, but he doesn't seem to hear or care. He just keeps saying "fuck yes!" while I'm whimpering.

"Jake!" I scream, I hitting him in the chest harshly when he hits a particularly painful spot. His eyes shoot open and he looks down at me.

"What?!" He yells in surprise. Its like he somehow forgot I was there.

"You're hurting me!" I yell, pushing him off me. I jump up and get my clothes, throwing them on quickly.

"I'm sorry." He says but he doesnt really sound sorry. I take a deep breath and try not to cry. The door bursts open and in comes James and some dark-skinned chick, I think her name is Leah, attached to him, her legs around his waist and her lips on his neck. He drops her carefully but stays holding her ass firmly, and she just keeps attacking his neck fretfully.

"Wow, Jake." James laughs, a smirk on his face. "Two girls in one night, I'd say you scored big time." I twirl around to Jake with disbelieving eyes. He looks at James with a glare, but doesn't say anything. God, he _looks _guilty.

_I can not believe this is happening. _

"Who was it?" I growl, a lot more confident then I feel. "Come on Jake, who the fuck was it?" He looks up at me slowly, his eyes showing no real remorse.

"It was fucking Lauren, okay?" he growled, and I flinch at his tone. "Why the fuck do you even care? Its not like you're not getting your rocks off with Cullen." I shake my head, my thoughts overwhelming me.

"Jake, you know I wasn't, because you just _took my fucking virginity you assmunchingdick!_" I scream, taking an expensive heel off my foot and throwing it at him. It scratches his cheeks pretty badly, making blood trickle down his tan cheek.

"Crazy bitch!" He screams, feeling the blood on his cheek. James and his slut are making out against the wall now, so I decide its time to leave. I run out of the room, tears filling my eyes as I go.

I run to the only person I can think of right then: Edward.

**A/N: Yeah, Jake's a dick. Don't forget to review for those sneak peeks! Review! Hoping for ten! **


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here's your next chapter. Sorry about the wait. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, this isn't BETA'd. I don't own "Nine in the Afternoon"**

_When it's nine in the afternoon_

Your eyes are the size of the moon  
You could 'cause you can so you do  
We're feeling so good

Back to the street  
Down to our feet  
Losing the feeling of feeling unique  
Do you know what I mean?

Panic At The Disco; Nine In The Afternoon

**Chapter 4**

**Oh God Is She Beautiful **

**EPOV **

"What the hell happened?" I ask Tanya Denali, who is currently holding Bella bridal style as she sleeps, covered in dirt and smelling like booze, at my front door. "Is she okay?" Tanya takes a gasping breath before passing Bella over to me with a nod.

"She's fine. I think something happened between her and Jake. She was wandering around the party, asking where you were. She got super drunk and went outside. I was going to leave when I found her asleep in the dirt." She sighed, looking down at her beautiful sleeping form. "I thought here was the best place to take her." I gave her a grateful look.

"You were right. Thank you, Tanya." She looked up at me through her heavily-made-up eyes. If you looked closely enough you could see they were a stark blue color. "You should wear less make up around your eyes, they're really pretty." She smiled even brighter at that, and I think I heard a mumbled thank you. I nodded, and I was going to close the door when Tanya stopped it from closing.

"I know I used to annoy you with asking you out so much." Tanya claimed, and I wanted to protest even though it was true. She kept going before I could. "I'm sorry about that. But I want you to know I see how much you care about Bella, and I think it's adorable. I hope one day somebody will care about me like that." Bella was starting to get heavy, but I didn't mind because I knew I needed to tell Tanya these next words.

"Someone definitely will. Who knows, somebody might already. You're a beautiful, funny, great girl Tanya. We should be better friends. You and Bella too. Because I know Bella wants more friends, and you two would probably get along great." She smiled at me and nodded, waving at me goodbye.

I set Bella on the couch, wondering what was wrong. I never should have left the party. I got bored since I had no one to hang out with, and Bella was with Jake so there was literally nothing to do other than get hit on by random girls, and that wasn't as fun as it sounded. So I left.

Oh god I hope it wasn't something too crazy. I mean, thinking of all the possibilities-

"Edward?" Bella whimpered sadly as she awoke from her sleep. My head snapped to her, taking in her dirt-stained face and bloodshot eyes.

"Bella?" I gasped in relief. "Bella, what happened?" She shook her head at me, as if to tell me 'no'. "Did Jake do something?" I growled. She began to cry even more at Jake's name. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to me. She began to sob into my shirt.

"I don't want you to hate me." She cried more, her hand fisting in my shirt. Hate her? I could never hate her.

"Bella, I could never hate you. What happened?" I asked her softly. I looked down into her doe eyes, and I wondered how I could make them look happy again when I had never seen her look so sad.

"You could! You could hate me! Because now I'm a-a- oh god, I'm a slut!" My eyes widened in surprise before my anger flared up and I glared at her. She was crying and shaking and looking at her feet. I grabbed her chin and forced her to look at me.

"Listen to me, Bella Swan. You are _not _a slut. A slut is someone like Lauren." That just made her cry even harder. "Jesus Christ Bella, Tell. Me. What. Happened!" I growled at her.

She took a heavy breath and didn't look at me, her tears calming down some. "He took my virginity, just hours after he fucked Lauren." I gasped at this, seeing red, but I let her continue. "And it _hurt _Edward. It hurt really bad and he just kept going and-" A sob broke through and she almost fell to the ground but I caught her.

That scum bag. That no good ass-fucking dick-sucking cunt guzzling bitch. I'm going to fuck him up. I'm going to make him wish he had never fucking been born.

"Stop, Edward." Bella gasped, and I look down surprised. Apparently I had said all that aloud. "I'm sorry." She breathed to me, looking into my eyes. I gave her a confused expression.

"What are you sorry for, Bella? You did nothing wrong." I tightened my grip on her. "Stay here tonight." I told her, and she nodded. "Why don't you go take a bath, and I'll call Rose and Alice." She shook her head no at me.

"I don't want them to know yet." She told me. I didn't ask why, just nodded. "Could you do me a favor?" She asked, playing with the hem on her dress. "Could you run over to Rosalie's and grab my night bag? Its got all of my toiletries." I nodded, giving her a reassuring smile. She hiccuped loudly, causing her to giggle softly and cover her mouth. It was truly a beautiful sight.

"Of course I will hon." I told her, rubbing her back. It might've been my imagination, but I'm almost positive she shuddered in pleasure.

Pretty soon she went upstairs too take her bath, and I drove off to Rosalie's to get Bella's bag. The ride went faster than expected, as I was thinking of all the ways I could murder Jacob.

LwordLWordLWord

**BPOV **

I leaned back in the bathtub, loving the warm water that was cascading over me. The dirt fell off me in clumps, turning the water a musty brown color. I clutched my knees to my chest and let the tears fall. Jacob. Stupid, _stupid _Jacob. Why do you have to be such an asshole? I wrap my fingers into my hair as I sob louder. My reflection shows in the silver knobs of the shower, and I can see raccoon like eyes reflected back to me. To make matter worse, in between my legs is throbbing in a dull pain, and I can't stop seeing Lauren's smirk when she saw me drunk and stumbling around.

I shake off my patheticness as I hear a knock on the door. "Bella?" Edward's voice is muffled through the door.

"You can come in." I tell him, clutching my knees to me again to cover myself. He looks a little awkward as he carries my bag in. I can tell he's trying his hardest not to look at my naked-but-covered form. I think back to when I was the loser girl with frizzy hair, and glasses, and always had my nose stuck in a book. He wouldn't have had a problem not looking at me back then. "Thanks." I say when he sets the bag down on the sink.

"You okay?" He asks, his voice hoarse, almost like he just woke up. I nod to him. I hold his eyes with mine, and I wonder. I wonder what it would be like to love him, and him to love me. I wonder if it was possible.

"Why don't you believe in love?" I ask, looking down at the dirty water in the tub. I can practically feel his curious gaze. He sits on the floor directly across from the bathtub. I still don't look at him.

"I do." He says so quietly its barely a whisper. "Love is as real as you and I sitting in this room right now. What I don't believe in, is acting on love. Its only ends up hurting you." He sighs, rubbing a hand down his cheek. His whole face is reddened from the heat of the bathroom. His eyes are on the floor.

"See my father, he was a real shitty guy, but I loved him. He was my hero. Then one day I hear him and my mom fighting in the kitchen, and he calls her all these names that really no kid should here. Alice heard and was crying into my shoulder, and I held her for hours that night. Emmett got pissed and went down there and was screaming at our father, but he didn't care." Edward looks up at me, tears in his emerald eyes, "The next day he was gone. I haven't seen him since."

I wish I could apologize, but that just sounds stupid. I didn't know what to say.

"Thats sucks." is all I say. A small smile appears on his face and he nods to me.

"Yeah, it does." then he seems to realize where we are. "I brought you a pair of pajamas and your toothbrush. I didn't think you needed your makeup, so I left it there." I nod my thanks to him and he leaves quietly.

Soon after I walk out of the bathroom with my hair in a messy sidebraid, wearing an oversized sweatshirt that says "GEEK" on the front, and some super short white pajama shorts. I had laughed when I saw he grabbed my super fuzzy bunny slippers, and slipped those on too. I almost gasp when I walk right into a shirtless Edward. I'm positive my gawking at his bare chest is unattractive, but I can't seem to stop.

"You know," he says after a minute. "You might catch flies if you keep your mouth open like that." I ignore his smartass comment and poke his six-pack instead.

"Is that _real_?" I gasp, rubbing my hand over it slightly. I am amazed I never knew of this, beneath his t-shirts. "You should wear your shirt off more often." I tell him. He gives me a smirk before rolling his eyes and throwing his t-shirt on over his head.

"You're the first girl besides my sister and my mother whose seen me shirtless. You should feel accomplished." Oh believe me. I _do_.

But then a thought hit me.

_Edward's a virgin. _Oh my god!

_I don't know how that was possible. Unless he just kept his shirt on everytime he had sex... but what guy does that? _I wanted to ask him so bad, but I didn't.

"So..." He said, pointing to his large bed. "Which side do you want?" I gulped at the words. _Being in bed with Edward could lead to so many thing, that I'm not sure if I'm ready for. _

"Whichever is fine." I said, hoping I looked nonchalant. "We're going to bed already? It's only 2:00." 2:00 am was pretty early for New Years.

"Of course not." He said, looking at me like I was stupid. He pulled out a bottle of wine from behind his back. "We're gonna sit and drink this first." I smiled at him, ripping the bottle from his hands.

Half an hour later we're drunk and I'm horny. I debate just jumping Edward's bones, but I'm not drunk enough to ignore the consequences of that.

"Tell me a secret, Edward Cullen." I order before tipping the wine bottle back into my mouth. We're sitting indian style on his bed, across from each other.

"What do you want to know?" He asks, taking a sip from his own bottle.

"Anything." I say way louder than necessary, flailing my arms in the air. But I don't care because I'm drunk.

"I hate that so many girls at the school like me. Its like they have no filters to their flirting. Sometimes it's really disgusting." I stare at him blankly. "Tell me a secret, Bella Swan." He quotes me from earlier. I look into his Ivy eyes and keep staring. It seems like forever before I decide to respond:

"I hate myself." He looks at me curiously, before his eyes turn to anger.

"You're so fucking beautiful, Bella." He spits at me, and I'm a little taken back but I'm positive it doesn't show. "You're perfect and you don't even notice it." I roll my eyes before lying back on the bed, closing my eyes.

"I never loved Jake." I tell him even though he doesn't ask. "I realized that somewhere in between everything today. I'm not even sure if I ever even liked him." I keep my eyes closed, but I can feel warm breath on my cheek, almost like Edwards leaning over me. "I think I just really wanna be wanted."

"You are." Edward tells me without hesitation. Now I'm positive he's leaning over me, I can practically feel his body against mine.

"Edward, do you love me?" I ask him, because I want to know.

He lets out a shaky breath before he replies "yes." I don't ask him to clarify, because I dont want to know. I'm okay living in ignorance.

"Bella." He breathes. "I wanna kiss you." I don't open my eyes.

"You're drunk." I tell him, and I almost hear him chuckle.

"Doesn't mean I don't wanna kiss you." all I do is shrug.

He leans down farther on me, and just when I think he's actually about to kiss me, his mouth rubs against my cheek and lands on my neck. His breathing evens and I can tell he's finally asleep. I put my fingers through his hair and drift off to sleep too.

LwordLwordLword

I wake up two hours later to heavy breathing in my face. I groan at being awoken but freeze when I see Edward is staring at me intently.

"Uh-hey-" I start but I'm cut off by his lips touching mine. I don't even think before intwining my fingers in his hair and pulling his head closer to me.

His hands go to my ass and I grind into him. I push him up and flip so I'm on top of hands keep planted on my backside. I straddle him and push him down, between my legs mixing in pleasure from Edward and pain from Jake. His boxers don't hide his hard-on very well and I'm glad. I'm glad I gave him it and I'm glad I'm doing this. Because for once I'm not worrying about what everybody else thinks.

I grined myself on him and- _oh god does that feel good. _He moans out and I lean forward to capture his lips with mine. His tongue enters my mouth and oh jesus, _I want more! _

"Bella," He whispers frantically, "What are we doing?" I don't answer him. I start to kiss down his neck and chest, reaching into his boxers. He looks at me with wide eyes. I grab his dick and pull it out.

Jesus almighty thank you lord. Its _big. _

"Bella," He whispers and he looks a little embarrassed. "I've never-" I nod, cutting him off, my earlier suspicions confirmed. _Virgin_.

"I'll make you feel good." I promise. He gulps nervously and nods at me. I cautiously lean my head down, taking him into my mouth. Instantly his head hits the headboard and he cries out in pleasure. I bob my head vigoursly, his moans of pleasure like a drug. _I _am doing this. Me. Bella Swan, the geek who had frizzy hair and braces and only two friends. Bella Swan who read a lot and who boys thought were weird, who liked comic books and wore glasses. _Bella Swan who gave Edward Cullen his first blow job. _

I take his hand and intertwine it into my hair, looking up at him. He looks confused, so I motion for him to guide my head the way he wants it. He looks nervous but doesn't do too bad, only making me choke once. He apologizes profusely which I found nice because Jake never apologized for it.

But before he reaches the edge I feel my head ripped away from him. It hurt a little bit but I'm too confused to complain. He's looking at me with sad eyes.

"This is not how I wanted this to happen." My breathing starts to pick up, increasingly becoming more labored. "No matter how much I try to deny it, I don't want to be your rebound."

I try to swallow but its like the saliva is stuck in my throat. "Oh, god." I groan. "I can't-" Breaths are deep but fast now and my head is starting to spin. "I'm takin advantage of you. What is going on with me? Oh Jesus." I swear, putting my fingers into my hair. I try to get up from the bed but Edward pulls me back down. I stare at him as he pulls his boxers back up, not making eye contact. I feel tears start to well up but I ignore them, turning to stare blankly at the wall as my breathing calms. I can still feel the throbbing ache from my actions with Jake just 5 hours ago.

"Edward?" I whisper after a couple of minutes. He looks at me, his eyes conveying a mixture of sadness and curiousity. "It hurts." He looks at me, confusion clearly written all over his face.

"What hurts, Bella?" He asks, his eyes searching me from head to toe.

"When Jake...earlier.."I can't seem to get it out. "I think I need to go to the hospital, Edward. I think he might have torn something." Edward's eyes widen with anger and worry.

"I can ask my mom too take you, she's right upstairs." I give him an incredelous look.

"Your mom is home?!" I cry. What if she had walked in, or heard us? Oh god.

"I heard her come in about an hour ago. I think she was on a date with that guy again." I nodded but my mouth still felt dry.

"What if..." I trail off, squeezing my eyes shut just to see if the whole situation would just disappear. With my eyes still closed I ask, "What if she doesn't like me anymore after she finds out?" My eyes peek open just in time to see his eye roll.

"Please, my mom adores you. Its not like she doesn't know Alice and Jasper & Emmett and Rosalie do it. We're very open about those things in our family." He promises, and hes right. Esme does love me, she tells me everytime we talk.

"Oh..kay." I concede. He gives me a small smile before getting up to get his mother. A few minutes later she comes in, Her forehead scrunched in worry. She gives me a sad frown and wraps her loving arms around me.

_I wish my mother held me like this. _

"Oh darling, baby girl." She cooes and the tears start to fall again. Edward stands quietly in the corner. "Oh honey everything is gonna be alright. That boy deserves whats gonna be coming to him, and you are gonna be just fine." I don't ask her to elaborate because I don't know what exactly Edward told her, and right now I just like the feeling of her warm arms. "Lets get you to the ER, Carlisle should be there now."

"Carlisle?" Edward asks from the corner in confusion. "Since when are you on a first name basis with the Doctor?" Esme looked a little stunned at the question.

"Well, I, uh just know him from around town, we're friends." I raise my eyebrow at her, knowing shes leaving something out, but Edward just shrugs it off.

Esme leads Edward and I out to the car, and then we're off.

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. Review for quicker chapters. **


	6. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: I am super sorry for the late update! But I have good reason! I have been hard at work making a blog that has, edits, faceclaims, teasers, outfits and more! I will have the link at the bottom of this document, so read the story, review, favorite, and then go check out my blog! I promise you will not regret it. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, I own none of the characters or the faceclaims, and I do not own Lana Del Rey's Black Beauty. Please Enjoy. **

_Oh  
What can I do  
Life is beautiful  
But you don't have a clue  
Sun and eye shade blue  
The magnificence  
it don't make sense to you _

_Lana Del Rey; Black Beauty (Demo) _

**Chapter 5**

**BPOV**

"Honey he told everyone." Rose tells me through speaker phone as I get ready. I adjust my white corset top so that my boobs look good. When I'm satisfied I throw a large beige cardigan overtop.

"I figured." I sigh, walking around my room and getting everything together for school. I can't seem to find my laptop and I need it for a English presentation we were working on over break. "He's James' best friend, he was bound to turn into an asshole when things go bad." Found it! I grab the silver MacBookPro from underneath my bed and put it in my laptop.

"Well I feel a need for a girls night. This weekend?" Rose asks, her voice going up in hope. I can almost see her crossing her fingers.

"No can do." I decline. Her huff tells me shes definitely not pleased. "Midterms are next week, and I plan on passing. So this entire weekend is dedicated to studying at Starbucks with my White Raspberry Mocha." The groan that comes through the phone is unpleasent at best.

"You, Emmett, even Jasper! All you guys are talking about is studying this weekend!" She growls. I roll my eyes and grab my key, heading down the steps. My father and Phil are sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper together. I turn the phone off speaker and put it to my ear.

"Emmett? Study? I'm shocked." I giggle.

"Believe me. I was too. Do you know what he wants to go to college for?" She asks incredulously. "He wants to be a teacher! A kindergarten teacher! Would you have expected that? 'Cause I definitely didn't." I laugh so hard it causes Phil and my father to give me odd looks from their place at the kitchen table. I'm still laughing when I walk over and throw a piece of toast in the toaster.

"Well it certainly fits his personality. He's always been a child at heart." She laughs and tells me she has to go if she wants to make it to the Cafe before school. My toast pops up and I cover it with Peach jam before telling Phil and my father bye.

"Wait Bells." Phil calls when I'm about to walk out of the house. I turn around and look at them curiously.

"Where's Jake been?" He asks lowly. My eyes widen in surprise.

_ "I can't check you out without a parents consent, Ms. Swan." Carlisle tells me politely, placing a kind hand on my shoulder. We're standing in the ER waiting room, the bright lights shining on us and trying to make it somewhat pleasant in the building. I look at Esme with wide, terrifyed eyes. I cannot tell my father, or Phil. They would both freak. Esme looks at loss about what to do. She looks like she wants to argue but she doesn't say anything. _

_ "What about your mother?" Edward pipes from behind us. I whirl around to look at him. His eyebrows lift in question, and I give him a small smile. _

_ "Thats a good idea." I pull out my cellphone and dial my mothers number. She'd understand a lot more than my father would. _

_ "Baby whats up?" She cooes when she answers the phone. "I'm surprised you called." She has every right to be, too. I haven't called her first in months. _

_ "I need help." I croak out unpleasantly. Her breathing slows. _

_ "Is it money?" I almost roll my eyes. She always asks that. _

_ "No, mom. I need you to give Dr. Masen your consent to let me get checked out." Small tears form in my eyes and I'm terribly afraid they're going to fall over. Mom gasps and starts to talk way too fast. Esme reaches over and grabs the phone from my hand, since I'm unable to at the moment. She explains who she is and, in great detail, what happened. Edward's arms wrap tightly around me and Carlisle gives me a sympathetic look. Esme doesn't hand the phone back to me only hands it to Carlisle, and he takes into the back to get all of the necessary information. _

_ An hour later Carlisle's confirmed that I'm not torn, but since Jake was rough I'm going to have more soreness than normal. _

_ "I have to ask..." Carlisle says slowly. "Did this boy...force himself on you?" I'm not shocked by the question I just didn't expect to get it right now. _

_ "No. It was mutual." I promise. He looks wary but he just nods. _

The clearing of my fathers throat brings me back to reality. I look up and blink a few times, trying to clear my head.

"We uh, we broke up." Both of their brows furrow in confusion. They give each other the 'parent' look.

"Well thats too bad." Phil says. I nod quickly and scuttle out the door before they have time to ask any more questions.

"Bella, you're looking ravishing today. A lot less flustered than the last time I saw you." James says to me as I enter the school. I just roll my eyes and keep walking. I wasn't about to put up with his bullshit today. Rosalie and Emmett are standing by my locker giving me the same look they've been giving me all week.

"Hey guys." I say, ignoring the looks. I've decided to just not think about what happened with Jake as much as possible. Obviously I wasn't denying it happened, but I don't think obsessing over it is going to help matters. I've had an entire week to cry, and be weak. But I'm done now.

"Hey Belly. I need some help with English, think we could study together at Starbucks this weekend?" Emmett asks with a hopeful smile. I grab my Bio book out of my locker as I nod to him.

"Yeah what do you need help with?" I ask as I slam my locker shut. All three of us begin walking down the hallway.

"I _really _don't understand anything Shakespere. His words just sound like the Adults in Charlie Brown to me." I laugh and Rosalie smacks his arm playfully.

"Hey Bella." I hear a cheerful and familiar voice say from behind me. I turn around to see Tanya and Alice walking up. Tanya smiles at me warmly and I'm a little confused but not totally. I mean we know eachother and have talked more than once but we're not awesome friends. I smile back and give her a once over. She's wearing noticably less makeup than usual, and her hair is curled really pretty.

"Hey guys. Wow, Tanya, you look awesome today. I love your hair." I look closer at her. "I never realized how similar yours and Rosalie's eyes were. And hair color. Wow." Tanya smiles and I know she takes it as a compliment. Rosalie is considered one of the prettiest girls in Forks High, and probably Washington.

"Thank you." She smiles shyly. "I was wondering if you'd be my partner for that History project that we have to do instead of a midterm? You're the only person I really know in that class, and well you're also probably the smartest girl too." I grin at the offer. I guess Tanya wanted to become better friends.

"Yeah that sounds great! Now I wont be stuck with Eric who will just sit there and agree with everything I say."

"Eric's a douche." I hear Edward say as he walks up behind me. We make eye contact and its awkward for all of ten seconds before he gives me a big smile, and I know we're good. We haven't talked much since the blowjob incident and I don't really know if we should talk about it. We stop to stand near a waterfountain so that we dont take up a ton of hallway space for people to walk. We still have about 30 minutes until class starts.

"Speaking of douche's." Rosalie mumbles. I follow her glare, which is pointed directly at Jacob. I'm not surprised to find him standing with Lauren at her locker. It seems like they're in some sort of fight. She stomps away, closer to us, and he follows her. I can see his eyes flicker to me for a second before he apologizes to Lauren for whatevers wrong.

"I don't _care _if you're sorry, Jacob! You lied to me!" She screams and we all hear it. She's so upset that she doesn't see where shes going and crashes right into me, and I fall into Emmett. He catches me easily and Edward reaches forward to catch Lauren's fall.

"Oh, god." She groans as she looks at me. She actually looks a little scared as she lifts herself out of Edward's arms and turns toward me. I don't know what shes going to say and I don't know how I'm going to react. "Bella, I'm sorry." She tells me, and I get a weird feeling its not just about falling into me. I nod slightly.

"No harm done." I tell her quietly, handing her a small smile. She scurries off before anything else is said. Jake, still standing there, looks dumbfounded. I give him a bitch brow and he too runs off.

"Wow, Bella." Alice sounds pleased. "You handled that with such grace. I would've been tearing heads." I shrug lightly.

"I'm not really mad at Lauren." I tell her honestly. I get confused looks from everybody but nobody really says much. "So, Edward, are you gonna come to mine and Emmett's little study session this weekend? There'll be coffee..." I give him a big grin and puppy dog eyes. You can practically see his heart melt as he agrees to go. _Boys, they're so easy._

"Actually," Alice adds, looking at Rosalie sheepishly. "I was kind of thinking I should probably study this weekend too." Rosalie turns slowly, giving her a bitch glare like no other.

"So is _everyone _ditching me this weekend? Since when do you all just _love _studying so much? Posers." Despite the fact that I know shes kidding, it kind of hurts a little bit.

"Rosalie, just because you don't give a shit about getting into a nice college doesn't mean the rest of us have to fail with you." I snap. She looks disbelievingly at me but I don't apologize.

"Okay, didn't realize bitchy Bella was gonna come out to play today." She growls. Instead of showing some maturity, I roll my eyes and stomp off to my first class. In the distance I hear her say, "God I'm such a terrible friend!" before I turn into my classroom.

LwordLwordLwordLwordLword

Lunch comes faster than I would like. I'm not hungry and I'm seriously debating just ditching the rest of today. If I have to deal with another male making some sexual joke to me about what happened with Jake, I might kill someone. Plus I'm really not feeling like dealing with Rose at lunch today.

But I put on my big girl panties and walk into the lunch room. It doesn't escape my notice all the stares and whispers but I ignore them. I give Alice a small smile and ignore Rosalie who is giving me strange looks as I'm about to sit down. Last year, if we had gotten into a fight I would have hidden in the library and read comic books while eating my chicken sandwich I packed everyday so I could avoid her. But not anymore, I'm done being that girl.

I'm about to plant my butt into the chair when I feel a tapping on my shoulder. I stand back up and turn around to find Lauren staring at me. I'm more than a little confused, and I'm not enjoying the attention this turn of events is pointing our way.

"I wanna talk to you. Alone." She says sternly as if I don't have a choice.

"Look, Lauren." I say, glancing briefly at Edward who has joined the table. "I don't wanna fight with you." She rolls her eyes and grabs my hand. I plan for the worst.

"Relax, I just wanna talk to you. But there are too many people here who don't need to know our business." I contemplate it reluctantly. Her face doesn't look malicious, but then again I don't know her all that well.

We go to the trail behind our school. The path is covered in snow, and my feet are getting drenched right through my vintage oxford high heels. I almost groan in displeasure, these shoes were crazy expensive.

"I didn't know." Lauren tells me as she lights a cigarette and takes a drag. "Jake told me you guys broke up, and that he liked me. I honestly had no idea that you two were still together." She told me. I didn't know why she cared so much that I knew that.

"Okay, Lauren. Thank you." I tell her, "But why do you care so much that I know that? Its not like were super great friends, I'm actually pretty sure you don't like me at all." She rolls her eyes and blows out a ring of smoke. Its actually pretty cool but I don't comment.

"Just because I'm a bitch doesn't mean I hate you. I'm a bitch to everybody. Thats why Tyler dumped me, yah know? And I care because _I _know he took your virginity." I feel my breath hitch in my throat. _He told everybody _that _too? _I could've swore he only told everyone we slept together.

"Its just me, that knows." She corrects herself. She could probably see the wheels turning in my head. "I figured it out when you came down and drank almost an entire bottle of vodka. No girl does that over just _sleeping_ with some guy." She throws her cigarette to the ground and crushes it with her foot, before immediately pulling another one out.

"You know my virginity wasn't taken in one of the best ways either. I was 13. I know, young right?" She actually laughs. I nod in agreement, but my mouth is open wide with shock. "It was James. He was 14. We lost our virginity to eachother in my treehouse in my backyard." My eyes must've been wider than the moon at this point as I stared at her in absolute shock. _James? She lost it to James? _

"Thats insane." I spout out and I almost regret it. But she just looks at me and smiles.

"Yeah, it really is. He's not as good in bed as you would think, but he has improved in recent years. You should have seen my brothers face when he found out. Punched James right in the nose." She smiled at the memory.

"Brother?" I asked, not aware she had one.

"Yeah." She nodded. "His names Levi. He's a junior."

"Oh!" I yelp in recognition. "The cute one with the brownish hair! Alice used to have the biggest crush on him!" I realize too late that I shouldn't have told Lauren, a girl I barely like, this information, but she doesn't seem to care.

"I get that a lot. Some girls are only friends with me because of him." She shrugs, and I feel sympathy towards her. She throws this cigarette down on the ground half-gone. She motions towards the school, and we walk in together, but part ways immediately. It doesnt escape my notice that she leaves the cafeteria altogether.

Everybody asks me what it was she wanted, but all I do is shrug and smile. Edward's knee touches mine and he looks at me quizically, handing me a french fry off his plate. I grab the fry and shove it into my mouth with a grin.

"Bella?" Rosalie squeaks from across the table. Emmett's arm is wrapped around her shoulder, and he's using his other hand to text someone. His eyes glance at her briefly, which lead me to realize hes actually trying to look like hes not listening. I look around to see everybody else at the table doing the same.

"Yeah?" I ask, taking a sip of Jasper's Mtn. Dew. He glares playfully at me and I stick my tongue out at him.

"I wanted to apologize. For earlier." She croaks out. I lift my eyebrows a bit. "And I would really like to come study with you guys this weekend." I give her a tiny hint of a smile.

"Its alright, I shouldn't have snapped at you. Its been a rough day." I shrug, throwing one of Edward's french fries at her playfully. She picks it up and eats it and all is forgiven.

"Why don't we all go study?" Alice pipes up from her seat beside Jasper. "Me, Jaz, Bella, Ed, Em, Rose, Tanya and Mike? We could all work together to figure everything out." She takes a long sip of her Diet Coke, breathing heavily afterwards. "Plus, I need _a lot _of help." Everybody looks around and we all agree to meet at the Fork's Starbucks Saturday morning at 10:00 am.

"Oooh I just got the best idea!" Alice squeaks. Rosalie and I don't even look up before we groan in displeasure. Alice's "ideas" never turn out okay.

"Shush it. I was thinking, Rose, Tanya and I could spend the night at yours on Friday and get ready for studying together on Saturday! Then we can meet the boys there at 10." I looked at Rose and then Tanya. They both nodded their heads in agreement.

"Okay sounds good. I'm gonna head to Bio early. I'll see you in Health Alice, and you in History, Tanya." I turn to Rose, "I walked here this morning, could I get a ride home?" She nods excitedly, probably happy that our awkwardness from our 'fight' was over. I smile and begin to walk to Bio, but I feel a lingering presence behind me. I'm prepared for James, or worse, Jacob. But when the figure moves in front of me to walk backwards I realize its just Edward.

"Hey hot stuff. Come here often?" he asks with a wink. I giggle at him and roll my eyes, but that giggle turns into a full on laugh when he rams right into a girl thats walking in the hallway. She's not wearing any makeup and her t-shirt says "Blink 182". Its similar to one I have and I wonder if she went to the same concert as I did to get it. Her hair is blonde with blue ombre into the bottom, and she's got a larger built body. All of her stuff falls to the ground and she has to try hard to balance herself enough not to fallover as well.

"Oh god, I am so sorry!" She apologizes. I look at her in confusion since it was obviously Edward's fault. "I should pay more attention." I look and notice she tries really hard not to look at him.

Edward looks mortified where he's standing, well, leaning now to pick up her books. "No don't apologize that was totally my fault. I was being ridiculous." The girl looks up at me and gulps.

"I don't blame you, your girlfriend is gorgeous." My eyes widen and my mouth falls open.

Instead of correcting her, I just simply say "I was going to mention that I really like your hair. I don't have the right skintone to do something like that with mine." She smiles at me but I'm not sure if she actually believes the compliment. "Whats your name?" She's finally gathered all her stuff and honestly looks like she just wants to leave.

"Carmen Stanley." The name sounds familiar and I think really hard to figure out from where. Edward speaks before anything comes to mind.

"You're Jessica's little sister? You guys don't really look alike." Her face falls a bit and I can tell that hurts her feelings. Edward seems to have caught that because he says "You seem way cooler than her too. Whats up with that?" She grins at him. Looking more closely I can see the small resemblance of Jessica, but what I mostly notice is the younger features of her face. You can tell she's a freshman.

"My sisters a bit of a skank. I gotta go, I'm gonna be late to Art. It was nice meeting you." She yelps it all out so fast we dont have time to respond before shes down the hallway.

Edward looks back at me. "Well, she was nice." I just roll my eyes and laugh.

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"Alice that hurts!" Tanya whines from where she's sitting at my vanity. Alice shushes her with a smack to the arm. Its Saturday morning and we're all getting ready to go study. I have to call my mom and ask her to put money on my debit card but I keep getting distracted by other things. I grab the outfit I plan to wear and head to the bathroom, deciding thats the best place to call her.

I dial and put the phone to my ear, tapping my foot impatiently on the ground as each ring goes through. Finally on the 6th ring she picks up with a "Renee speaking!" and a loud giggle. I roll my eyes at her, since I know she has caller I.D.

"Hi Mommy." I say which is a bit rare for me. Sometimes I don't even call her mom anymore. "I'm down to 10 bucks on my debit, could you put more on for me?" Her happy sigh tells me her answer already.

"Of course I can baby. How're you doing? Has that boy bothered you at all?" I move farther away from the door in case Phil or my dad decide to listen.

"No, other than telling the whole school he hasn't said much to me." I sigh. "I guess that was to be expected. Dad keeps asking me why we broke up and I keep giving him excuses like 'we just weren't working'. I don't know what to tell him." She sighs into the phone loudly. I hear a bang and a loud yelp in the background, and I faintly hear Renee yell "Sweetie don't touch that its fragile-shit!" I giggle a little bit at her crazy old husband's antics. He was probably getting senile.

"Crazy old bastard." She grumbles, but I dont think she intended for me to hear it so I don't say anything. "Sweetie I gotta go. If that boy bothers you have your other friend- whats his name, Edward?- beat him up." I almost laugh at the idea of that.

"Okay, mom. Love you." She returns the endearing words and we hang up. I put my clothes on quickly and head into my room.

"Heys guys,"I say, " My mom just added money to my card so I'll pay for everything, don't worry about it." Alice and Rosalie nod because they're used to this, but Tanya looks really uncomfortable.

"Oh, Bella. I brought my own money, you don't have to pay for me." she tells me quietly. Rosalie laughs and Tanya looks even more uncomfortable.

"Tanya," I say, looking right into her eyes. "Its fine. My mom is kind of a gold-digger. I love the woman, but her husband is so old and so rich he can't see straight. My mom puts a shit ton of money on my account each month, sometimes I barely put a dent in it, but I bought an entire new wardrobe and tons of expensive makeup so she had to refill it for me. Its honestly not a big deal." She nods but I can tell she still doesn't feel comfortable with it.

"I have a problem." Rosalie grumbles from the bed. "If I wear makeup and I get tired I'm gonna end up rubbing my hands on my face and its going to swear everywhere and I'll look like a raccoon. But I don't want to _not _wear makeup because Emmett will be there and he's never seen me without it." Alice and I look at her confused.

"But you guys have had _sleepovers_? Wouldn't your makeup come off during those encounters?" Alice asks, and I nod in agreement. If she was having a ton of sex and sleeping and her face was everywhere her makeup was bound to rub off.

"No, because immediately afterwards I go fix it, and I always wakeup before him." She tells us with a shrug.

"I think you look fine without makeup." Tanya says honestly. She's put on her outfit and I notice she looks way more put together than the rest of us. She's wearing a denim romper with black polka dot sheer tights. She's wearing a zip-up hoodie over it and her hair is naturally wavy-ish poofy. I watch as she pulls on her bright red uggs. She's really quite good at matching colors.

"Ugh, fine. But if he runs away screaming you guys are buying my Ben & Jerry's." Rose says and we all roll our eyes, practically in sync. Like Emmett would ever do that. Rosalie borrows a pair of my blue sweatpants and wears her white and black striped crop tank. She puts on a long white cardigan over it and her gray ankle uggs. She puts her blonde locks into a sock bun with a fishtail wrapped around it. I had seen this outfit-or one closely resembling it- many times over the years, and this is the first time I've ever seen her wear it out of the confines of our houses. She won't even wear it over Alice's because Emmett is usually there. I throw on my Vans and a beanie, and grab my stuff. We head out the door just in time.

LwordLwordLwordLwordLwordLword

**EPOV **

"Fuck!" I grumble when I see the girls walk into Starbucks. We were here ten minutes early, which is a rarity for us. First walked in Alice wearing _the same sweatshirt _as me only in Red, mine was blue. Emmett laughed and said he was thankful he didn't wear the one mom had gotten him too, which was green. Rose and Bella walked in together and _oh my! _Did Bella look nice. She was wearing maroon leggings and a sleeveless tee that said 'perfect boys only exist in books'. She was laughing at something Tanya said behind her and motioning with her hands. I smiled at her perfection, and for once actually considered what'd it'd be like to be in a relationship with her. I shook it off before the thought turned into something more, and tried to look distracted by my algebra book.

"Dude." Mike asks, tossing a straw wrapper from his frappachino at me. I give him an annoyed look and lift my brow.

"Can I help you?" I ask. The girls wave as they walk over to order their coffee.

"Are you gonna ask her out or not? Jake's gone so its not like shes not available, and its totally obvious you have a hard-on for her." He says. I roll my eyes at him even though its true.

"Bella and I are just friends, Mike." I tell him.

"Bullshit." Jasper laughs from where he's sitting. "There's so much more going on there then friendship. You've just got that bullshit excuse about love going on in your brain so you wont act on it." I glare at him. I ignore their snickers and look down at my book again.

"My Rosie is gorgeous." Emmett says from next to Mike. I realize he hasn't been paying attention to anything they were saying, he was too busy staring at Rose. I smile at him despite myself. "Something looks different about her today." Jasper lifts his head up to look at his sister.

"She's just not wearing any makeup." He says with a shrug. Emmett squints his eyes as if this will help him be able to tell the difference.

"Huh." is all he says.

"Hey guys." Bella says when she walks up. All the girls sit down. It doesn't escape my notice how close Bella sits next to me, our knees are almost touching. She sets her backpack down on the large oak table and pulls out what she needs for us to study bio. I look at her cute notebook that reads 'keep calm and study study study'. She grins when she notices me looking.

"My mom has always has a knack for making my nerdiness into a fashion statement. Apparently notebooks are included in wardrobe choices because she specifically texted me to tell me to use this notebook." she giggled. Her face scrunched up all cute when she giggled and I wanted nothing more than to lean over and kiss the tip of it. But I didn't.

"Shit I forgot a straw." Tanya says as she stands up. She's staring at her cellphone and doesn't realize as she's walking that she's about to walk right into Jessica Stanley. She's too far away to hear if we yell. So she ends up crashing right into her. Jessica's hot latte dumps all over her white shirt, and she looks livid. Tanya's face is mortified but she doesn't have the chance to get out a word before Jessica is screaming. Her brown hair is flying everywhere as she motions angrily to her shirt. I notice a girl with pastel green and purple hair try and calm her down, and she seems familiar. I look at Bella in shock.

"Is that Carmen?" Bella whispers to me. Thats when it all clicks.

"Yeah." I whisper back. Bella and I get up to go help as the rest of our group stare in amusement and pity.

"Hey, calm down." A deep man-ish voice says. Bella and I walk up to find Lauren and Levi Mallory standing there. Lauren looks amused and a little bitchy as usual. Levi has put himself in front of Tanya, who honestly looks like she's about to burst into tears at any second. "It was obviously an accident." Jessica rolls her eyes and stomps outside.

"I'm sorry about her." Carmen apologizes. She looks very pretty in her floral dress and grey cardigan. She looks a little taller than usual which makes me notice her pink heels, I think Alice calls them 'platform booties'? I don't know. She's wearing makeup today. "She's such a bitch sometimes." She looks up at Bella and I, and I know she recognizes us, but she doesn't say anything. _I wonder why_?

"Hey Carmen." Bella says shyly. Carmen smiles and gives her a cute little wave. We hear a car horn honk from outside and Carmen mutters "shit." under her breath. She runs outside but its too late.

"Fuck!" She yelps. "Jess was my ride home. Now I'm gonna have to walk home in these shoes."

"You could join us and study, we'll give you a ride home later."I say without thinking. I look over at Bella too see if she's okay with this. Her expression hasn't changed, so I guess its alright.

"Yeah, okay I guess." Carmen says slowly. She looks really apprehensive but walks over to us.

"Hey, Tan, are you okay?" Bella asks. Tanya nods slowly, but she doesn't seem to be paying much attention to us. Her eyes keep flickering to Levi every couple seconds, and he seems to be doing the same to her.

"Studying?" Levi asks, his eyes now glues to Tanya. "Mind if Lauren and I join you guys? I could really use some help with my art final." Tanya's eyes shoot open and she grins.

"I'm working on mine too!" She giggles and its almost too much but she doesn't seem to mind.

"_Lauren _is doing what?" Lauren asks about herself in third person. "_Lauren _wants to go home to _Lauren's _room and study _Lauren's_ notes." she grumbles to her brother. I notice her eyes flip to Bella kindly, with a small smile. Almost like she was apologizing for being a little rude.

"Lauren don't be such a downer, I thought you said that Bella and you were okay?" Bella's eyes flick to Lauren, and a small smile plays on her face.

"Yeah. We are cool. Come on and join us, Lauren." She says. She looks around towards everyone in the small circle, and with a roll of her eyes playfully agrees to join us.

We study for five. Hours. Straight. Before we get a short break. Bella and I _finally _just got through our entire bio study guide with a bit of Lauren's help. It turns out shes a major Science whiz and is already in Advanced Chemistry. She took the midterm two years ago and said its not nearly as hard as he makes it seem.

"Dude, Carmen is _hot_." Mike says to me when we walk outside for some nice winter air. He lights up a smoke. I didn't realize he smoked. "You know she wants to be a director? Of scary movies? How cool is that? My god." He throws his head backwards and squints his eyes closed. "And she dyes her hair all these crazy colors because she likes to look 'unique' and hates being compared to her sister." His glasses on his face remind me a lot of Alice's, and I debate on making fun of him for having girly glasses. But I don't because I'm not an asshole.

"Mike?" a small voice asks from the doorway. I waggle my eyebrows at him as Carmen walks out.

"Yeah?" he asks. I move a few steps away so it can seem like I'm not listening, but I totally am.

"You wanna go catch a movie this weekend?" She asks. Her back is facing me, so I take a quick look at them. I make innapropriate gestures and nod my head rigorously so that he gets the point that _he should say yes_.

"That sounds great. I'll pick you up Friday at 7?" He asks. He sends a sly wink in my direction. I laugh lowly as I walk back inside. I catch Bella buying her fifth frappachino when I walk in. I raise my eyebrows playfully, and she looks back sheepishly.

"They're delicious!" she tells me when I go stand by her. "Do you want anything? My treat." I give her my best incredulous look. Its been 'her treat' all day.

"No but I will share a loaf of that banana bread with you if grab some." I wink at her. She laughs and orders some. "Hey Bella," I gulp. "We haven't really talked about what happened..." Now was probably not the time to bring this up, but its been bugging me all day. That had been an amazing night until the reality crashed down that I couldn't do that with her and that I was her rebound.

"Oh.." she looks awkward as the guy hands her the banana bread. I notice him check her out and almost growl in his direction. He walks away and we wait for her frap. "I don't really know what to say. I don't wanna say I regret it-because I don't- but I really don't think we should do anything like that again. We were both drunk and things happened but I'm just not that kind of girl-usually." I smile widely at her even though my heart was kind of being ripped apart by her unintentional rejection. Not that I would try and take this any farther, but it still kind of hurts.

"Okay." I say simply with a shrug. We go back and study for several more hours. Later on Mike drives Carmen home, and the girls spend the night with Alice, Emmett, and I, but Jasper goes home. I think him and Alice are in some weird funk because they left to 'go to the bathrooms' all lovey-dovey and came back stoney-faced and barely looking at eachother.

Mom is on another date with mystery-man so we get really high and Bella and I fall asleep on the couch together. I sleep a lot better than usual with her laying in my arms.

**Authors Note: So did you enjoy it? If so, review! Or even if not, review! Please, I would love ALL feedback! I would like to mention that I do Rec 4 Rec ( recommendation for recommendation) so please tell me if thats what you would like! Anyway, my blog with all of the extras is smmwstlw . tumblr . com WITHOUT SPACES. **

**BONUS: If you review on this or any other chapter, you will receive a free sneak peak of next chapter before anyone else! And if I get at least ten reviews, I will post a full teaser on my blog! So review review review! **


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